Mind, Body, Spirit


March 26, 2010
Wow, it's been almost a year since Ally and I decided to make this website. I've been thinking a lot lately, about this. After trying to recover I almost avoided this website. The more I was around eating disorder related topics, the more anxious I would get. I heard from Ally a while ago and she is doing great! I'm so proud of her and I wish the best for her <3. Well I guess I can say I'm really healthy because I can't eat dairy products and I don't eat meat or candy. Sadly I dont exercise no more because of school, but I'm going to start pretty soon because of what has happend recently. My anxiety is coming back. My emotions are out of control. I know it's stress from school and drama. However, I feel anxious and I want to let it out.

I haven't gotten my period since October and the less I get it the less likely I'll be able to have babies. I'm scared of my future plans/college/etc. I feel like I'm a bad girlfriend because this is the first time I'm in love with someone and I never really showed love to anyone in my life. The drama with friends at school is driving me crazy. I keep eating and eating. Today I put on some jeans that fit me tight about two months ago, and now they almost fall. I did lose weight, but I think it has to do with not being able to eat well due to my wisdom teeth. They took them out a month ago and I couldn't eat well. However, this past two weeks I've been eating a lot and I'm anxious. I feel like crying. I don't want to eat. I don't want to gain weight. People say I look great now, and I feel great and love my body, but it's not about the physical. I see myself in the mirror and I feel happy from what I see looking back at me. I still have meat on me, but it's womanly. Something in my head is eating at me, I don't know who to tell. I'm afraid. Afraid of people getting disappointed. Afraid of falling back. I want to not eat. I feel like not eating will help me. I'm stressed. I feel stupid. I need to go for a run. I need someone to talk to about this.

Lets Make This A Lifestyle

September 1, 2009
"Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open"

This section is from the song "Say" by John Mayer based on the movie "The Bucket List." I strongly suggest you guys either take time to listen to the song or watch the movie. The main idea of the movie and song is that you sh...

Continue reading...

My Purpose

August 14, 2009

Being a perfectionist, a person who wants to do everything on her own is something that can slowly kill a person. I've been through hell without the help of anyone who could really get me out of this hell. I wish I could of found a website like this when I was younger to stop me from going deeper into the caves full of thorns and fire that will torn your flesh and soul in seconds. I want my beautiful people to rise and be sunshines in the world. I can honestly say I've stopped my binging and ...

Continue reading...

About Me

Los Angeles

Make a Free Website with Yola.